Suti~Tooti

⚠️ WARNING
This post discusses a controversial and potentially upsetting political event.
I don’t speak on politics often here, but this one had been sitting with me for a while.
Feel free to skip this entry if it’s not for you.

America Is Strange

Around 12:15 PM PDT on Wednesday, I sat down with 8–10 coworkers at lunch in the cafeteria with a takeout box of Korean bulgogi
(first time they’ve ever served this — don’t you dare rightfully call me “privileged”).

Being the obsessed musician / marketer that I am, I zoned out for about five minutes to finish a newly started music marketing podcast
(this one here if you’re curious).

Sony headphones off.
Time to get back to the real world.

I tune back into the conversation.

“He was shot this morning.”

“Charlie Kirk was shot this morning.”

Usually, this is where there’s a moment of deafening silence — the kind where the quiet says more than words ever could.
A pause meant for absorbing information, moving from disbelief to acceptance, and most recognizably, grieving.

Today was different.

There was no grieving in today’s silence.

I wouldn’t say anyone at the table actively celebrated the news.
A father of two and a husband being assassinated while attempting to have conversations with college students is, in my opinion, undeniably disturbing —
and it is not something I, nor anyone I consider a colleague, friend, or family, would ever advocate for.

Despite this, everyone at the table who was familiar with Charlie Kirk and his work was… smiling in confusion.

That includes me.

Why?

If the situation is so obviously terrible — and I’m supposedly so steadfast in my morals —
why was there confusion?
Why was there something that felt dangerously close to relief?

My answer: people are complex.

Sometimes we laugh in situations like these:

because laughter is a coping mechanism
because of the absurd irony of the moment
(example)

Sometimes we feel relief or a sense of justice when terrible things happen to people who have wronged us — or those we love.

We cheer when the school bully finally gets put in their place.

It is simply not possible to witness every “bad thing” that happens to a person and immediately respond with pure sympathy, stripped of all context.

Expecting that from everyone is foolish — and unfair.

You are not strange for feeling sad about Charlie Kirk’s death.
You are not strange for feeling like justice has been served.
And you are certainly not strange if you have no idea what you’re supposed to feel.

America is strange — not you.

Why I’m Writing This

I’m writing this for two reasons:

I know many of you may feel similarly, and I want to reassure you that you’re not alone.
You’re not crazy.
And you are not a monster for your reaction.
My identity — as an artist and as a friend — is built on empathy and hope.

That same day, three teenagers were shot and killed at a Colorado high school,
and it was only the second biggest story.

America is in a deeply confused place right now.

It’s frightening to see people rush headfirst into the lava —
and burn others with the debris of the volcano.

It’s devastating to see people reject parenthood out of fear that a bullet might be lodged in their child’s skull during afternoon art class.

But we are all in this together.

You are not feeling this fear or confusion alone.

We are seeing just how hot the lava really is —
but things will change for the better.

You must have faith.

It gets better than this.

Stay safe,
Stephen (Suti~Tooti)