Stop Hanging with Him

I'm trying to calm down and reason through it
Lie down with the pain and try to keep it movin'
In my sleep I close my eyes and I see you with
A side of him that's not in me and I can't forget
The unfamiliarity in those eyes you give
Like you was shot and hit your head and you should be dead
Or my should I be 'cause you scrambled your head
For times of you and me but keep finding him instead
I just can't take it
Feels like yall waiting on me on these corners
This shit got me thinking
Yall really must be faking
Or your love's like the rest of the universe
It revolves around me
Yall talk about me
If you invite me to a concert, yall can fuck around me
And act like I can't hear your heart beat from my smart
Text me late at night and say you didn't see me
Well tomorrow, you can see me bleed from my wrist, bitch

Just hear me out girl
Stop hanging with him
Stop hanging with him
Keep your ass locked up
Or I'll hang from this tree
At a moment's whim

At this point
I'm more mad at me for bad decisions
To have emotions, fall in love 
And get locked in prison in my head
Thoughts of me me committing to another person pop up
Way more than my nigga suicide ever did
So when I fall into these stints 
Where my heart begins to pile with vile ire
Toxins and hateful desires
I know there's something different with me
And I can't compare
But I wonder if the old cold me
Would be warmer and better rested here?
(Maybe he would)
But does the answer to that question do me any good?
I back send my mind back to 18
When I wondered across a tundra
Banner Saga, was shielded like Sundr
I kept the black trench on me like Blade
Saw warm me and locked his ass in a cage
I knew he'd cave if he wasn't holed in a cave
Fuck I look like wearing hearts of my sleeve
So they "Hurray"
And get too close to me
A narc in the shadows hiding his rage

Dammit, even as I write this song
I'm getting kicked out the studio
Where I belong
For you and your fucking club
To watch Titans there with your new Hulk
Bulking while I'm just sulking to a new room just to write off
My disgust, my fear
My disdain for my ego
The fact that you showed me love in spite of all of it though
Leaves me hating myself more 
Behind a dark locked door
While I'm shouting out to a mic
Can Amanda just put me back on the arctic floor?

Just hear me out girl
Stop hanging with him
Stop hanging with him
Keep your ass locked up
Or I'll hang from this tree
At a moment's whim
Just hear me out girl
Stop hanging with him
Stop hanging with him
Keep your ass locked up
Or I'll hang from this tree
At a moment's whim